The reason for my griping!

This is when I caught Max on the couch. They said he couldn't even go upstairs when we first got him. They were wrong! He was such a sweet boy!

Last night James and I sat on the couch, yes as I said before I was a blubbering mess, and were deciding what to do about Max. When we rescued Max about 7 months ago we knew about his hip problems and were aware that his life expectancy would be shorten because of this ailment. I think I mentioned earlier that Max had been sick this weekend. He has been slowly becoming less active, although let's face it he is a Newf so basically he wasn't moving at all anymore. We tried last night to feed him treats, ham, turkey anything that would be tops of the list of special doggy treats. No luck! He just sat there, he wasn't even drooling anymore. James had to go to Kansas today which left everything in my hands.

All of you know I do not handle stressful situations well by myself. I had a meeting to go to today, and I was watching my sweet little Garin too, so it left me in the house thinking about what I should do all morning. By 11am I was done, I needed to get out of the house, and Owen begging me to go skating was the perfect opportunity to leave. We got back and I put Owen down for his nap, then headed off to my meeting! Many thanks to Grandpa for sitting here at the house and watching Owen for me, you are lucky he slept the entire time!!! When I got back I was greeted with Ethan's smile. I love that little boy Kalina! Kalina watched all the kids for me as Derek and I took Max to be put to sleep. It was heart wrenching. He could barely walk. I couldn't lift him by myself, he is about 120 pounds. He could barely lift up his head, except for the beeping of a horn that he heard. It was a long drive. I tried to get things out of my mind. James should be doing this. I hate to stereotype men's jobs and women's jobs.... but this should have been his. He is much less emotional than I. So I could barely squeak out his name when they asked. I filled out the paperwork, my writing was even worse than usual if you can believe that. I said my goodbyes and we walked him into the office. I will miss his drool (yes as gross as it was, it was a part of him) and his chasing the kids around whenever they honked a horn or squeaked a toy. He had a better life with us than he would have in the shelter he was at for months before we got him. It was the right choice to make for Max, at times I wish there would be an option for me if I were to get older and no longer have control of my body.

Thank you Kalina. Your kind words help me put a smile on my face this afternoon. I would not know what to do without you! You are a great friend. Thanks for taking the time for me and the children. I know you are busy. I think I took care of the thank yous and the hugs today! The hugs were SO needed!!! Now I just owe you that cup of coffee.....

Rachel, your stopping by after Kalina left was a nice surprise too! It got my mind off things and got me thinking in a more positive way. It is always nice to let the kids run wild in the backyard while we drink a "beer" (ha ha) and chat about everything that is going on. Thanks for the hummus, the chips and the cookie dough. Maybe I can just hire you as my personal shopper??!!

I am really lucky to have great friends. I couldn't imagine life without you guys!